Life as a Mute

People seem unaware of what being mute entails, I guess that’s because in a world where the majority of people can speak it’s not something most can really emphasise with, understandably so, but still raising awareness seems to be the least I can do.

 

When I was younger it was very upsetting and very frustrating, my youth was spent constantly angry and upset that I couldn’t voice my opinion or what i felt, the way I could describe it would be almost like being trapped in your own mind, unless you’ve got some sort of way to communicate via written word it was very difficult to get across to people what I wanted to say or felt to them.

I started off just carrying a notepad, but even then it had its own set of problems, if i ran out of paper, or the pens ran out or broke for whatever reason I was effectively stuck unable to communicate, as a young child I remember wanting to shout and speak with all the fervour of youth, an option which again and again was denied me and that crushed me on a day to day basis, I felt broken, defective, useless and out of place in the world.

 

Quiet people have the loudest minds

 

As I got older, I realised it didn’t have to be something which defined me, the quote above by Stephen Hawking is very true, I cant speak, no. But my mind is always writhing with new thoughts, theories and ideas. It almost seems as if my brain is trying to compensate for the lack of expression. In time I came to accept my muteness and see it as a strange sort of strength, it allows one a certain introspective and thoughtful approach, and with time you can easily learn to keep up with conversations, even animated ones if you really are fast writing. In the end i ditched the notepad and started carrying a flexible magnetic whiteboard, easier to store, less paper and easier to write on, the improved flexibility means I can now keep up with conversation, and with the dawn of things like smartphones, I can even communicate with a voice as such, or at least type what I want to say. With that tangent in mind, the greatest strength I have as said by the admin of a site I regularly visit (www.ipowerproject.com) is online, online I can almost stand as an equal, the lack of speech isnt a problem in an entirely text based environment, so even in a small way, I can fit in, which even though I’ve accepted what I am sometimes gives me a little boost when I get down about how different muteness makes me.

 

The hardest part was and still is, how other people act towards you, some assume that you’re stupid, or out for attention (my school years saw no end of torment because of that particular opinion, even though I couldn’t word during the entire time I was there) or even just arrogant, all accusations I’ve had from people who simply didn’t know any better, times like that really do make you feel isolated and frustrated, you want to tell people, you want to scream and shout at them. But you can’t, you have to carry on forward or the bitterness takes hold and consumes you. Unfortunately that doesn’t help on the other end of the scale, I know muteness is nowhere near the worst thing that can happen to someone, at worst its an inconvenience, but you do get some people who try to sympathise, or take pity. The worst thing you can say to someone like me is anything along the lines of “It must be hard” or “i understand” because, most people don’t and we know it’s hard, we have to live with it day in day out, and the way people sometimes act towards us. There is a third category, some people try their hardest to avoid interacting with you, one “friend” put it this way “It’s too much effort to talk to you a lot of the time” which is arguably the one time I’ve ever felt truly angry for being the way I am, it makes you feel like a burden and you feel rejected and embarrassed for something that isn’t even your fault. This thankfully isn’t a common occurrence, the worst I’ve had apart from that is people either taking pains not to talk to me, or staff in shops just rolling their eyes when i try to write what I’m after, or just walking off because they’re too impatient to wait.

At the end of the day, im still a person, I just can’t speak, treat us as people, not glass or pariahs.

Advertisements

8 comments on “Life as a Mute

  1. Mary Hurley says:

    This is an inspiring post. People take for granted the ability to communicate using their voice and it is not until it’s taken away will some truly understand. As we say in New Zealand – Kia Kaha – and continue to raise awareness!

  2. Pariah says:

    Thank you for sharing.

  3. Jeremiah says:

    Thank you for writing this. I came about the article through Google search because I had heard of “mute” but did not know what it meant.

    • daithioki says:

      Hey

      Sorry it took me so long, if you haven’t found out by now. A mute is someone who for whatever reason, whether that’s through a defect, injury or mental condition (like me!) has no ability to either speak whatsoever, or may have the ability to create sound, but no ability to vocalise (form words)

      Again, sorry it’s so late, I never expected this blog to be found, let alone actually gather interest.

      Stay well 🙂

      Daíthí

  4. amulya says:

    i came here because i envy mute people , i am very impulsive in nature and i have a bad temper, i yell and later cry out of guilt , i write poems and quotes and i was interested in writing why i envy the mute ? thats how i stumbled here ! i would be priveleged if i could read more of your story 🙂

    • daithioki says:

      Hey there

      Being mute doesn’t necessarily mean we don’t get those same problems, we just find other ways to express them. Especially when we’re younger. I was extremely prone to lashing out when I was younger because of the inability to express negative feelings, even now I do suffer from a ridiculously sensitive temper. Life has taught me that the key is finding a way to manage your self that works for you, people are so wonderfully complex, and what works for me will be useless for you. Being mute has some advantages, for example we are forced to think before we speak or act, so we can give more measured responses. But there’s no shame in being how you are, as long as you don’t let it control you. If you want to know more about me, my story or experiences. I’m more than happy for you to message me, or make a request and I’ll respond as best I can.

      Thank you for your interest and stay well

      Daíthí

  5. Ryan says:

    Do you still keep up with this post? I have questions for you if you do. 🙂

    • daithioki says:

      Hello Ryan

      I pop in every now and again, inspiration hasn’t hit for a while so that’s why I haven’t posted in a looooong time. Any questions you have, I’d be happy to answer

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s